Played at Ongar this morning without a drop of the promised heavy rain. Friendlies only, Brian not being available for our last remaining doubles match. Afterwards,nbeing a bit in the right direction already, I dove to Epping to investigate the Stonards Piste where the Epping club play on Saturdays (my one sworn no boules day!). Small piste, very thin gravel over a hard base with lots of big stones. Looks very much like a place for the high lob and not much rolling...
Constipation management plan working OK so far. Now I have to get past tomorrow morning at Hanbury Gardens....
The heavy rain began almost as soon as I got home mid-afternoon. Lots of thunder and, presumably, somewhere some lightning. Very very frightening... Despite that,I fell asleep of course.
I'm trying to find a way to explain that this "fatigue" isn't just being lazy, and that breaking out of it is very very hard to do. Some people talk about not being able to get out of bed in the morning, no matter how much a part of them wants to. You just can't raise the will to do it. I'm the same, although for me it's a chair and later in the day. You just have to wait until something changes and you feel a bit of energy coming back.
I think the thing to remember is that even though I'm "in remission" - insofar as that can ever apply to myeloma - it doesn't mean that nothing is happening. The body is still fighting the cancer, keeping it suppressed, and that is a huge drain on your energy and resources. And I have to deal with the potent drugs that I take every day - another big drain on resources. One sleep a night just isn't enough to recharge and recuperate. "Remission" isn't a stable static state for myeloma, it's a dynamic one where you have to balance the positives of exercise etc. with the dark side that is always lurking in the shadows, ready to break out again. And that completes the sermon for tonight.
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